Breaking the Soul Tie

Have you ever met a person that was so physically and sexually attractive to you that you just had to have them? I mean that person made all of your body’s senses tingle… The encounter usually begins as small harmless exchanges with compliments, a few phone conversations, and maybe a lunch date or two. Eventually, the flirtation becomes so intense that it leads to gentle touching like a hand on your face, shoulder or thigh and then boom… Fifty Shades of Grey! You end up in a hot and heated sexual encounter. Nowadays this can happen without the lunch or dinner dates – give or take a few drinks after work and you’re ready for a one way trip to lust filled erotica.

This person can be a co-worker, an old friend or fling or hell, a perfect stranger who just happens to smooth talk his way into your life. Here’s my point… when the pace is unusually fast there’s no real time involved to fully get to know one another on a deeper level. It’s just sex. The problem is that we mistakenly believe that we can make a love connection after the lust filled sex and eventually head down the aisle of marital bliss. We believe that the relationship will grow if the sex is good. Everything else will fall into place… Right? No, not really. But, if the sex is bad, most of us will end it there. Why? Because the buildup was mainly centered around the sexual exchange. We haven’t learned anything about the person because we haven’t put in the time or energy needed to do so. What do we know about that person other than what pleasures them in the bed. Who are they really? What was their childhood like? Are they decent people? Our judgement about them is clouded in the secretions of the sexual exchange. We know more about what makes him ejaculate and how she orgasms than if he pays his bills or if she keeps her home clean.

Now that we’ve spent a few months exchanging bodily fluids and putting the cart before the horse, we now want to know where this relationship is headed. Actually, it’s headed no damn where. Not without a lot of work that most of us are unwilling to do. Getting to know someone after sex is hard because we are so emotionally invested with our bodies and not thinking clearly with our minds. Making decisions that are purely based on emotions are usually done in haste and result in regret.

Soul Ties are created through sex. It’s the physical act of giving yourself to another person that makes you vulnerable to such a connection. (Jetmag.com) Therein lies the dangers of soul ties… it makes you vulnerable to that person that is not your husband/wife and you’ve created a connection with someone that you may not even like. 1 Corinthians 6:16 Or do you not know that he who is joined to a prostitute becomes one body with her? For as it is written, “The two will become one flesh.”

The Bible does not specifically mention soul ties, but speaks about the knitting of souls together. When we are connecting sexually with people that we are not joined in marital covenant with, we are knitting our souls together and engaging in a tridimensional experience: spirit, soul and body. “Whenever a person is sexually involved with another person, neurochemical changes occur in both their brains that encourage limbic, emotional bonding. Limbic bonding is the reason casual sex doesn’t really work for most people on a whole mind and body level. Two people may have sex ‘just for the fun of it,’ yet something is occurring on another level that they might not have decided on at all.” (Dr. Daniel Amen)

A soul tie can be lifelong. Ever wonder why you just can’t get that one person out of your head? It’s like gluing two pieces of wood together and then pulling them apart. One piece of wood is missing its parts and the second piece of wood is left with fragments of the other in it. (Kris Vallotton) You are up at night thinking about that person long after the sexual relationship has ended and wondering where they are or who they are with. Driving by their houses at night, checking their social media pages and going to places that you know they frequent just to see their faces. Stalking them in the daylight with a flashlight! That transference of bodily fluids has caused their spirit to run rampant inside of you. Now add that spirit to all of the others before them. My God…my God!

When connecting with the wrong people, bad things can and will happen. 2 Corinthians 6:14 Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? I’ve made many decisions in the past listening to my flesh without first consulting with God. I don’t know about you, but I’m tired of paying the price of leaning on my own understanding. I want God’s best for my life. I sincerely believe that if we love and connect with people the way God intends, it won’t be hard, but a beautiful journey of equally yoked spirits. No more forcing round pegs in square holes for me. I need and require intimacy… a deep mental, spiritual and emotional connection. My body willfully following pursuit is a bonus.

I challenge you to get more disciplined in your walk and let God send you a Soulmate to please and speak to your spirit. A Soulmate that encourages you to be the best version of you that you were created to be. A Soulmate that shares your value system and comes from a family that holds him/her accountable to that value system. A Soulmate that supports your dreams and loves you enough to correct you and stand in correction with you.

If you are involved in a Soul Tie relationship that makes you lose your common sense, interferes with your clarity and influences a lapse in good judgement; it’s unhealthy. Ask God to deliver you from that Soul Tie… and RUN from that kind!